How I Met Your...Father

I have a charming little story of boy meets girl to share with you.  Its a wonderful story inside another story that has a little something for everyone: bars, quazi-flirting, projectile vomiting, and drunk driving.   Like I said, charming.

Let's pretend that Nick and I did not go to school together for 4 years.  Which really doesn't matter because he was hooked up with Satan's evil sister and I was dating the president of Looserville.  Let's also ignore the fact that my sister and Nick's brother dated for a short while making the 6 degrees of separation even less.  We had 1st period Math of Money class together with Mr. Zimmer, yet I don't think we ever spoke a single word to each other.

Fast forward to February 17, 2006, when Julie invites me out to Boondoggles' Guinness night for some beers with some peeps.  I go, and its a Tuesday, I think, so my intention was to have a few and go on home.  Fate had a different plan...  I arrive to find everyone sitting at a picnic table outside and I take the only seat left at the end of the table, across from Nick.  I will admit, that Nick did not really give off the approachable guy vibe.  As a matter of fact, he kind of scared me.  Let me share a picture I (bravely) took that night.

 

 See what I mean?  So the night goes on and I bounce from Justin, who I've know forever, and  Julie who invited me.  There are some other people at the opposite end of the table that I do not know, but seem cool.  Everyone knows everyone...except me.  As the night goes on, I learn these people to be Matt and Laura,  who are engaged, and Andrew who I've been acquainted with via Myspace.  He is slamming back Guiness pints, and in between gulps, he is defiantely giving me "the vibe."

Matt and Laura
 

Andrew
 

Me and Julie

I address the fact that I am getting said vibe with Julie.  She oddly announces sightly too loud for a private conversation "oh no, I know who Andrew likes..."  Hmm, well I've been wrong before so I ignore the feeling and try to socialize.  For the record I'd like to reiterate that Nick is not very talkative. I don't recall if we spoke, but since I got a picture of him, then we probably at least had a few words...but I can't be sure.

The night goes on, pretty uneventfully, and being that it is a weeknight, the group disapates and I get up to leave, only to be followed to my car by a very drunk Andrew.  He some how convinces me to stay and have a few more drinks.  (It couldn't have taken much to persuade me since by now he was only capable of one sylable words and grunting.  What can I say? I'm a bad decision maker.)  So we go inside and order another beer and a shot of Jager.  {Factoid: Most of my more memorable moments from late 2004 - early 2006 involve Jager.} The demise of the evening happens rather fast. Since he can't really talk, I mostly just try to interprate his expressions and grunts, so I cut to the chase and we do the shot.  Mine goes down the hatch and the next few seconds play out in slow motion: he gulps the shot, but I do not see his Adam's apple bob so signify that he has swollowed.  He scrunches his face up in a horrible expression and a dry heave makes his whole body shudder.  The next tremmor is too much to control and he lets go, sending watery, jager puke all over me and the counter.  

He looks at me, and I advise him to go to the bathroom. He goes.  My first reaction is OMFG did anyone just see me get hurled on???  I survey the room and find no one visibly rolling on the floor or bent over in laughter.  I grab a towel  and my tab from the waitress and try to regain my composure.  He comes back. I tell him I'm leaving and if he is smart he will do the same.

I walk to my car, and he follows me to it.  I have no patience left at this point, but somehow I'm keeping it together really good. I get in my car and get the F out of there. But oh, no, it does not end there!  As I'm driving down Space Center there are headlights behind me that are dangerously swerving from late to lane.  I study the car...could it be?  No...? OMG, IT IS! He follows me all the way to my apartment and parks out front.  I'm not exactly sure what do do at this point and before I know it, he's stumbled up to my front door. I let him in.   I think that Andrew got really lucky (no, not like that!)  While I've never been hurled on by a guy before, I would have to say I would have expected my reactinon to be far less than friendly or concerned.  But because of the nice girl that inhabited my body that night I let him sit on my couch for about 5 minutes before he started passing out.  THAT is where I drew the line.  I told him to go, and after some coaxing, he was out the door.

I know he made it home that night because, well, he is still alive today. 

A few weeks after that night, I think that I added Nick as a friend on Myspace.  Nick will tell you that he hung out on AIM a lot after that in the hopes that I would chat him up.  It never happened, but we did eventually go on a few faux dates, and then finally a few real ones.  On 6/6/06 we made our relationship offical, on 5/06/07 Nick proposed to me, and on 3/29/08 we were married.  Not to mention our beautiful Kylie Louise who joined us last year on 8/19.  Even though the events of that night were traumatic, I thank my lucky stars that I went that night, so I was able to meet my future husband.

How's that for a whirlwind romance??

iLove!

I've been able to choke back the rage that resulted in yesterday's rant to make room for a more positive post.  Lately, some products have really wowed me so I'm going to pass them on to you so you can be wowed too.  All too often these days products are disappointing and I end up threatening to start a letter writing campaign to convey my disgust of the horrible experience and/or shotty craftsman ship (I'm talking about you Enfamil RestFull Formula!!).  These products are not that way.

1. Sally Hansen Nail Pens - So easy, so cheap and they have other pens that you can use to draw designs.

2. The Hungry Girl 200 Under 200 Cookbook - If you are on an diet and cooking for 1 or 2, then this book rules! 95% of the recipes I've tried so far were a success, and because of this book I found out about #4!

3. My absolutuely adorable daughter (A mom could not be more proud!!) <3

4. VitaTops by Vitaliscous - If it came down to the and you and me and the last box at the store, I'd cut you to get to my VitaTops. Soo tasty they just couldn't be "diet" food.

5. ModCloth.com - I was worried what I ordered would turn out to be junk, but I was SO wrong!  The quality was excellent and the prices are very affordable.  Needless to say, my wishlist on this site grew exponentially.

Current Affairs

Rarely do I attempt to be political, mainly because I'm really bad at it. I have a hard time making arguments that hold water and end up resorting back to the argument "I just don't think its cool." But a lot of things are going on that I have been thinking through and since I have my soap box handy I'm going to go for it.


I really feel bad for the country of Haiti. Its an unfortunate existence they are surviving in now, and I understand that the country as a whole is barely making it. Queue telethon and foreign aide and we now have a shattered country with pledges of millions upon millions of dollars at their disposal. Will it be used correctly? No one can really say...Is it just as needed in America, where the pledges live??? Yes, it is. How can we give money away in such obscenely large amounts when our nation is in the state its in? Are we less deserving of it because it was greed of a few that affected the lives of many?

There is a saying that goes, how can you help someone if you can't even help yourself? How can America promise to send money and supplies to another country when they don't even show that kind of compassion for their own countrymen? The thought of absorbing thousands of Haitian refugees is appalling. I'd say that we already have our fill of unskilled workers and welfare dependents for many years to come. Why is Medicare bankrupt? Why are the schools overloaded? Why is there cash going out, but not coming back in? Is this not obvious to anyone else? Of course I know its not that simple, but when a country becomes a crutch for every third world country who asks for help how will we ever have the time, resources or money to make this nation what it once was: successful.


Healthcare bill? Puh-lease! Now, I am really not in a position to make any semi-intelligent assessments about this bill, but from the very little I do know, I don't like it. I pay good money to have the freedom of choice in my medical benefits. I also worked my butt off in school to get a good job that would provide me with benefits such as insurance. I pay my share to Medicare, directly from my paycheck, but that's not good enough. I am going to pay more for something I won't use and will restrict the decisions I have a right to make about the healthcare me and my family receive. No thank you. I pray that congress will use their noggins on this and not be lead down a path of greed and corruption when they are trying to push this through. Further, the last thing we need is an impatient leader imposing deadlines and ultimatums upon the law makers in order to force an issue that will forever change how we are make our healthcare decisions or how they are made for us.

This next issue caught me on a personal level and really it just irks me more than anything. I know we cannot raise or children to believe that life is fair and everyone is treated equally. Within a family, I think its important not to play favorites. The scales should no tip because Son is attracting lots of negative attention therefore daughter is taking the backseat. Daughter should not get more one on one time just because Son is hard for you to connect with. Each deserve the chance to be treated fairly, that is your duty as a parent. Neither should feel like one is held higher than the other. Its unfortunate that bonds are formed within a family faster and easier with some relatives than others. When those relationships turn into favoritism, how do you explain that to your child?

Back in my student teaching days, I found out about a practice in classrooms that totally blew my mind: school supply socialism. Absolutely asinine! If you have not heard of this, its when all the school supplies brought by each student is put into a pool and redistributed randomly to the class; so the chances of your child getting what you bought for them is very low. What mean child hater thought this up?? When I used to go to Lake Office Supply and buy my special pencil case for the year, on occasion I could talk my mom into buying me the Mega Crayola Pack with the 8 new shimmery shade in it. Can you imagine my disappointment when Johnny, the class dimwit who ate glue was handed my super awesome crayon selection? In higher grades, your folders, pens, backpacks, ect were more of a display of your personality than a function of organization. If my mom thought it appropriate you grant me 200 more crayon choices than Johnny, that's her decision and her money spent. Life may not be fair, and not everything will always be equal, but what kind of world would we live in if the deadbeats and the CEOs all got the same handout? What kind of inspiration would that be to work hard, and make a comfortable life for yourself? Why bother, if Uncle Sam is going to collect your bounty and give it to the lazy guy down the street?

Maybe you come from the persuasion of "why should we have to watch people flaunt their wealth?" To that I say, who knows? Ask Perez Hilton who has made a nice little name for himself showcasing the wealth of A to F list stars. You may be jealous but you still can't look away. And hey, if you were motivated enough by them maybe, just maybe, you will work hard so you can have nice things too. School uniforms and standardized dress codes were put in place for similar reasons. Apparently, keeping up with the Jones was creating such a distraction in public schools that strict guidelines on dress had to be put in place. Um, I guess... I really can't remember in 12+ years of school that any article of clothing or accessory was such a distraction that I simply could not focus in class therefore failing and proving that school should be a bland place where boys and girls dressed the same. In schools where gang violence is an issue perhaps the color/style/logo you wear could cause a problem. But it would be idiotic to think that those rivalries go away just because the colors of their shirts are neutral.


Life just isn't that cut and dry. People are going to always have nicer things than the next guy. Good for them, now deal with it. I am in no way suggesting that not everyone deserves the basic necessities of life. That would be cruel. There are wonderful charities within this country that put food on the tables and clothes on the backs of the less fortunate, and the world is a better place because of them and I encourage everyone to give what they can when they can to those in need..


I really need a time out or something because this post has gone on far too long and touched on too many topics I didn't plan on talking about. Can you see why I don't get political? I've managed to rant for like 30 minutes and I still don't feel like I've made my point. I'll spare your tired ears for now.

ok, ok, I gave into the baby model mania

I know every mom has this twisted fantasy that their kid will with some awesome cutest baby contest and prove to the world what they have known all along.  So with that said, even those the chances are that of me winning the lottery...please vote for Kylie, it will only take a second.  And when she wins I promise she will remember all the people that boosted her to stardom! ;)
ps- the picture looks weirdly distorted...but i'm sure you can tell its cute.

Vote for me in this contest!

Contest details

Me vs. the sewing machine

Inspired my my mom's sewing skills of yesteryear I decided to take up sewing recently.   I've spit out pillowcases and burp cloths for just abut everyone I know...(if you haven't gotten yours just wait, its coming).   I signed up for class 2 with Maureen, of www.maureenmakesit.com, and I'm going to attempt a cushion and pillow covers for the new little futon couch in my guestroom/office/craft room.  Never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd have a craft room. Its like the suburban mom cliche got a hold of my and is hosting off my once independent thinking mind. But it doesn't end there... Now all I can think of is do do do!  For example, I actually went scrapbook shopping. I bought an album and some fancy pattered scissors and odds and ends, and with my new toys I'm going attempt to create a memory book of Kylie's first year.  Its just weird, because in all my romantic pre-baby daydreams I was going to be the kind of mom who was always on the go doing cool stuff and showing my baby what the city had to offer.  Uh, not exactly how its turned out so far.  Thankfully, we are heading the the children's museum today with Kylie's bestie, so maybe that will help me feel like I'm fulfilling my chic city mom dream. 

Every new hobby I've had interest in lately is yanking me into Clear Lake Crafty Mom Club, and I never thought I'd see that day.

I admit its cool to see what I can create (aside from a gorgeous daughter).  My left brain runs free when I get to dreaming up stuff and its a good feeling to make it a reality.  It must run in my blood because my mom was this way. She made much of our clothes when we were young, and the woman could whip out quilts like it was no body's business.  I have no idea where she found the time to do that in between caring for us and working.  Its amazing, and part of me wants to be just like that.

On the downside, all these hobbies have uncovered the hoarder in me.  I almost never pass a fabric store with out going in and rummaging through the scrap fabric bins and I've started a box of scrap booking stuff, and my shutterfly account is overflowing with hundrends of pictures to print.  Combine that with my regular shopping habits and trying to decorate a house, I will have myself a reservation at the poor house in no time!

finally friday

I try to wait until I have something relevant to write about, but its just not happened for me this week. It was a long drawn out week that creeped by during the day and raced by after 6 pm. I am guilty of being very unmotivated at work and just shuffling papers around my desk to appear busy. It happens...

I am happy to announce that Kylie, the day after the turned 5 months, gifted us with 10 hours of uninterruped sleep. Granted, we are only asleep for 7 of those, its probably the best 7 hours of sleep ever!
My mom came over last night and she was very much like her old self. She got to feed Kylie and play and let me make dinner and stuff. It was a nice evening and it was also the first time I wasn't totally stressed and somewhat annoyed hanging out with her. (I'm not a bad person but it really takes an abundant supply of patience to be around her sometimes in her current condition.) 
Going home on the bus Monday was an adventure. I had taken the light rail to the med center for an eye appointment where I had to get my eyes dialted.  I forgot my sun glasses (big surprise, I forgot something...) and I was foreced to rock the roll-up disposable shades they gave me at check out. Not being one to push the envelope too much (haha) I decided, blinding sun or not, I was just gonna rock the dialted pupils look on the way back downtown.  I've never gotten so many double takes.  Kids would stare inquisitively, and the Hispanic ladies never broke their gaze and one may even have muttered "Diablo" in my direction. I walked several blocks like this to catch my connecting bus home and I have the luck of sitting next to Houston's most outgoing, yet agitated, strung out hobo.  He was clean-er as far as hobos go, and he had a cell phone. He loudly made calls to an extended stay hotel to set up aroom for the next few weeks. (I know this bc 1. he talked really loud & 2. of course I listened) He went on to explain to the Hotel Person "I am really nice guy and I prefer not to be called sir but even if you do call me sir I will call you Goddess. You are a really nice lady, you know that?"  He inquired if the room was smoking or not "becasue I still haven't kicked that."  Then after overdoing it on the thank yous he hung up and dialed who I can only imagine was his lady friend and reported that "i got the room, but you need to get my phone charger from the pawn shop and get cigarettes but don't worry because I have a syringe already."  He then went on to explain "i'm really frustrated and I haven't taken my meds today."  That is when I stopped listening and moved over towards the window as far as possible.

The remainder of my week was pretty uneventful and lame.  I have a list a mile long of things I need to accomplish this weekend and with any luck I'll get it all done. Valentine's Day is coming up and I'm trying to get set for that and figure how to woo my lova lova so that he doesn't continue to think I've lost my gift giving edge. (Ask him and he'll probably tell you that my gifts as of late leave something to be desired...hmpf!)

Ahhhh, and here are my misc updates:
What I'm reading: I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell
What I'm looking forward to: tax return $$, more weight loss, our anniversary trip
Who I'm thinking about: someone who has lost someone special
What I'm doing tonight: gym...sweating it out!
Who I'm hating on: haters and liers
What I'm working on: scrapbooks, sewing projects, bows for Kylie
What I'm wishing: that my secret appointment Tuesday pays off!!

sad news

A friend from high school and a fellow new mommy lost her husband this weekend in a tragic hunting accident. The thought brought tears to my eyes everytime it crossed my mind today. I cannot imagine, and words cannot describe how sad I am for her and her new daughter.
It scares me to death, any day this could happen to any of us. I do not know what I'd do without my rock, and even with my daughter to live for, life would seem so bleak without Nick.
Again, life is sending me a sign to apprecaite your loved ones and enjoy every second with them.  Don't go to bed angry and pick your battles- the little stuff isn't worth sweating in the grand scheme of things.

Please keep my friend and her baby in your thoughts and prayers during this incredibly sad time.

A dip into the archives

I guess I'm have a bit of writers block (hence the weekend of silence).  I'm getting the feeling that not many people want to hear about the baptism this weekend (even tho it was totaly cool and really nice to see everyone).  I have several posts in the works but they all require a little homework and I've been putting that off like I would mopping the floors (damn you all tile house!!)  So lets just dip into the archives of stories that I have saved in my brain from my wilder single days....

*Disclaimer* If you are reading this and you happen to be my husband, I'm banking on the fact that you will look at this from the perspective of confident & supportive husband and feel sorry for the loosers I write about and laugh with us at their misfourtune, that I am now posting for the blogosphere to enjoy. <3

It was a slow and boring Wednesday, possibly Friday night in the early days of Myspace; when it was still a tool to meet tools and then have to dodge them in cyberspace forever afterwards.  A friend of a friend, who I will hereforth call Jager, was trying to get me to come out and meet him and I'd not been too interested until this fateful night.  Obviously,the old addage about idle hands would pertain perfectly to this story. Jager convinced me, in a moment of weakness to meet him at Molly's for a few rounds.  When I showed up he was sitting at the outside bar, and as luck may have it the place was a ghost town. No one would be around to witness this.  I sat down on the next stool over and kept a good distance of space between us, not only becasue I was trying to make a point, but also because the abundant girth of is body forced me to do so. We talked and drank jager bombs and at some point the wall of keeping it friendly came down and flirtyness reared its ugly head.  I admit at this point I was having a good time.  Now, I remember not what this guy did for a living or really anything about him but it was gettin late and he thought we should go to his place to grub.  Sure, why not?  I'm on a budget and I can understand that drive thru wasn't an option for him since he's probably had his first 3 meals of the day from there anyways.  We walk to the parking lot and he walks up to this embarassingly old Honda Civic that looked like a box on wheels. It could very well have been the very first model that rolled off the assembly line. The door gave a loud creek as it opened and it was right then that I probably should have just gone home. I'm not a total snob, but this car was hands down, the biggest turn off ever.  I followed Jager to his paalce down on El Dorado to one of the apartment that had recently caught on fire. I watched him eagerly exit his clown car and wait for me, and yet my legs still carried me up the stairs to his apartment.  I am proud to say that what took place up there was completely innocent.  Luckily, I was not easily impressed by neon beer signs and 4 foot bongs so I just took a seat on his sectional sofa while he fixed himeself a french bread pizza.  He popped in some early Jackass videos (before it was called Jackass and it was something else) and we laughed.  Time passed and it was late and I was ready to go, I had paid my dues and Jager had fufilled my courtesy date requirement for the month.  I stood to go after some lame excuse about  not feeling well, and he stood up too.  I probably hesitated a moment too long because he went in for the kill.  He leaned in and planted a kiss on me. I don't remember reacting but the next sequence of events are burned into my brain forever.  He released my lips and took one step back tripping over the cord of his PS2 controllers.  He stubled, and tripped over his other foot and down he went. He caught the edge of his glass coffee table and bounced off of it and landed in a pile on the floor in the narrow walkway between the couch and the table.  Never had I seen tempered glass preform against such an opponent and win.  He sheepishly picked himself up and tried to redeem himself.  I, on the other, was frozen in a mortifed haze. My brain was screaming at my legs to move! go! get out! but instead I reached down to help him up.  Even as ready as I was to leave, my embarassment for him overpowered everything else.  As if that extra minute in his apartment would be enough to convince him that his actions did not resemble a large animal being brought down by a tranquilizer dart and I was not ready to make a dead sprint for the door.  When he was back on his feet he immediately tried to recover by offering me things. "I have this really cool Jagermeister hat around here somewhere...it would look really good on you... since you like Jager so much...just wait, I think its right here...you can have it."  Still trying to downplay his clumsiness, I told him he could give it to me the next time we met up.  "Ok, what about Tuesday?"
He followed me to my car and I narrowly avoided another attempt at a kiss goodnight.  I was able to maneuver behind my car door and use it as a barricade. He kept talking and overcompensating and I kept throwing generic replaies back at him so I could get the fuck out of there.  Finally, I shut my door and sped out of that parking lot, not looking back once.  In the weeks to come he stalked my on Myspace and AIM.  He wouldn't give up on the offers of Jagermeister merch that he had for me.  No one likes Jager or free shit enough to endure another meeting with this this guy.  I'm not even sure how I shook him and I was lucky enough to never run into him again. 

I learned a very important lesson this night: never ever  ever rely on your judgement after any amout of alcohol, especially on a night when you should have just stayed home in the first place.

What day is it?

I woke up from a foggy slumber and asked my husband if it was Monday.  It was actually Wednesday, so I'd say the day started off with some good news.  The rest of the day was forgettable..and now its almost 10:00 and I'm waiting until I can go to bed and try and shut this headache down.  Back in the way (which according to Dane Cook is coincidentally, is also a Wednesday) I used to burn the midnight oil at which ever neighborhood pub had the best drink specials that day.  I was on a simple 6:30 am - 2 am schedule and nothing got me up and going the next day like a regimen of coffee followed by a Morning's kolache and a sugar free red bull.  So how is it that I get more sleep now, and I'm about 1000 times more tired??  This question began my search today for a doctor - any doctor - that would administer a B12 shot no questions asked.  I'm still looking for that special medicine man (or woman) to save my life.  Why is it so hard to find a doc that will give me the gift of energy??? Stingy bastards.

On a lighter note, I escaped to the mall this evening to accomplish a few errands.  As my FB friends already may know, I purchased a pair of pants in my pre-baby size.  The happy dance I did in the express dressing room would have been awesome to watch from the outside.  I'm trying to contain my clothes shopping just a few more weeks.  I'm thinking of it as a reward for all dieting.  Going forward. I'm been inspired to go for quality not quantity so my goal is with each pay check to buy one thing for the house, for myself and for Kylie. The latter never really being something I have to make a point to do, it just happens.  Then, when I bring something into my vast closet, something old will come out until the cave that is our closet is a den of sparkling new duds.  I literally can't wait! Insert picture of that weird creature from Lord of the Rings who breathes "my precious" over the ring and you have me in my closet fondling my wares. There is no high like a new pair of shoes (ok, sure, maybe there are a few but it certainly ranks up there with the best of them.)

ahhh, my brain is shutting down for the night. I've already had to consult my pocket dictionary twice, and those are just the words I know I spelled wrong.  So good night all...

work=day jail

I'm at work and I'm searching the office for unused toothpics to prop my eyes open. Geez, I'm tired! My cube neighbor is dozing off as well and the lull of the piped in white noise isn't helping...neither is the blanket (yes, blanket) I have wrapped around me. I'm a cocoon in an ergonomic chair. I've already "snuck" to Macy's and to the sundry for a red bull so its about time for me to be productive or check out.

I want to do this thing, every week where I update you on what I'm doing/reading/watching/cooking/loving/hating/ect.  It will accomplish a number of things:
1. if you wanted to buy me presents you'd know what I'm into at that moment
2. it will illustrate my short attention span (re: hobbies) and my diverse and fickle interests
3. it may inspire you to try something new
4. it will give me a reason to talk (type) haha

So that bring me to my list for the week.....
I'm making: custom made burp cloths and bows for Kylie's headbands
I'm reading: I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell
I'm cooking: anything from Hungry Girl's 200 under 200 - great WW friendly cook book- even the hubs was impressed!
I'm pondering: if imitation is the highest form of flattery, why does IT DRVE ME CRAZY?!?
I'm wanting: a massage and some stuff for the house

ch ch ch changes...

Pressured by the Carrie Bradshaw-esque dreams I've been having about this blog turning into a book on the NY bestseller list, here I am.  Or rather, here it is.  Now where do I start? I guess I can start with a mission statement or vision (so business minded, I am).  After about a year and a half on the dating scene circa 2004/5 I decided that my life, in all its humor AND misfortune would make a good book.  Ahh yes, you say, like the world really needs another Chelsea Handler or "My So Called Life" (swoon Jered Leto pre-fat days!!) take on early adulthood/being single shenanigans.  What makes me different? Probably nothing, except I love reliving the life I've had.  I've been blessed, I've had lots of fun, and I've paid for that fun in a variety of ways.  So why not share it with curious strangers and maybe a few friends and family? 

Now, down to business.  The recent news of my mom's diagnosis has been weighing heavy on my mind. Right at the beginning of her golden years (57), Mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's.  It breaks my heart to think of the worst case scenerio and it also makes me angry.  I'm not ready for that. Surely, neither is she, nor is my Dad, sister, Aunt, Grandparents, ect.  I just haven't had the quality time with her as mom and daughter on a friend level that I always dreamed of.  No heart to hearts, no girls days out, no parenting jewels of wisdom for her to offer me.  Don't get me wrong, she is by no means incapacitated, she is quite spry and cheerful, but this is just not how I pictured this time in our lives, AT ALL.  I'm pretty sure my the rest of my family will say the same thing.  Am I regretful that I did not make the most of the time we had when I was younger?? Yes, sure.  But I must remember  that the relationship we had still managed to influence my life so I could be who I am today.  Whether she knows it or not, I think she suceeded in effortlessly raising 2 wonderful human beings.  We can be just as prickly as she can be at times, but also fun, smart, charming and creative! ("we" would refer to my sister and me.) 

I had a friend, a very close friend since my freshman year in HS, die 3 years ago from a drug overdose.  She may have been on the wrong path, but she had so much potential and had she been able to see the forest through the trees, we'd probably be on the phone right now.  She left behind a little girl who was born in 2002 (that would make her almost 8, yes that sounds about right).  Her daughter was SO bright, and so precious, and has been through hell and back due to her mom's habits and vices.  When it all became a little too much for me to be involved with, I had to take a break from her and in those 2 years her situation went from bad to worse...and then it ended.  Her daughter is left living with her dad, who I was never a fan of; and carries the emotional and physical baggage that came along with the life her mom chose to lead.  I feel so so sad that one day, if she hasn't already, she is going to feel that she was cheated out of having a mom.  Her REAL mom, and all the mom moments that come with it.

Not to forget my incredible husband who endured adolescence and beyond in a Dad only home.  He never saw it coming, but it did way too soon.  He grew to be such a great person, and while I know he misses her, I've never gotten a sense of self-pity from him.  He's accepted the hand he was dealt and he strives to do right.  (And of course he succeeds!!)

So who am I to even complain that at almost 30 years old my mom isn't able to play mommy to me the same way any more? 

I don't think I don't need to say that things like this can happen to anyone.  The time you spend with someone may be just passing time now, but in the future you will be able to look back and remember them.  Or, at least you will have enjoyable snippets of life with them to remisce.  So, ENJOY what you have, and who is special to you.  Its too late to start when you are doing it to try to satisfy the guilt for not doing it earlier.

Usually, my thoughts are not this circular.  As a disclaimer, I'm actually pretty sarcastic.  And since sarcasm never comes out well in writing,  take into consideration that I write how I talk, so really, I'm just speaking via type. (haha how's that for profound??) Basically, what I'm writing here, is what I'd be saying, and exactly how I'd say it, if you were sitting in front of me.  I'm pretty real like that.  <-----see, that was sarcasm.

Here's a quickie

I've been supressing my thoughts for too long now...so, inspired by my boredom at work and my recent addiction to Red Bull and false energy- TADA - I started a blog!!
I hope to enterain you with my jewels of wisdom and/or sarcastic negativity (sorry, I yam what I yam!)
Just as soon as the coast is clear and my thoughts are organized I will enlighten you as never before!!